Getting started on a new lease
Our campsite in the shade of a giant live oak was one of the best in years. The magnificent spreading branches seemed to create a roof over our campfire and the trucks we'd backed in to use as tables.
I had a propane stove hissing on the tailgate of my Dodge. Frying bacon filled the area with a stomach-rumbling aroma. Coffee perked in an old campfire pot on the other burner. Eggs fresh from the cooler waited their turn in the skillet.
On Wrong Willie's tailgate to my right, a selection of plasticware, cups, bread and condiments awaited an orderly procession from the fire. Farther along, beginning a slight semicircle around the fire, the tailgate on Doc's backed-in truck held two upright water coolers and two aluminum tubs for dishwashing.
Completing the curve, Woodrow's open tailgate provided a work surface and also contained fishing gear, a cot (inside the camper) and assorted plastic tubs full of camping necessities.
To my left, Jerry Wayne's truck contained coolers. With Jerry Wayne, coolers are always plural.
The Cap'n, between trucks, tended the propane campfire. It was working quite well. And when I say the Cap'n was tending the fire, I really mean he was turning the gas jet up and down while lighting an assortment of wooden sticks.
It's his way of poking at an artificial fire.
"The last time we had a camp under such a good tree was on the Ivan lease," I said.
Doc looked over and grinned. "That was a great lease. Camping under those three trees was like being in some kind of outdoor cathedral."
Willie, waiting beside me for the first slices of bacon to come sizzling off the fire, looked upward and sighed. "I really liked that lease a lot, too. It was huge, and we had several places to camp. It wasn't great for hunting, but it was the perfect place to hang out."
"One of the best quail leases we had was in Stamford," Jerry Wayne said. "I've never seen so many birds."
"Nothing like that lease up in Wichita Falls," Doc said.
"The Henrietta lease," Willie interjected. "That one was perfect. Close to home and ...."
He stopped to wave as a diesel pickup drove slowly by.
Everyone else waved without looking up.
"Rotan was too far away," Woodrow said.
"Wasn't worth the money," I answered.
"The Jefferson lease was good," the Cap'n said.
I frowned. "You weren't on that lease with us. That was before you came back from Lubbock."
"I know," the Cap'n said, cutting his eyes toward us. "But I've heard the stories enough that I know Jefferson was good."
"It was all right," Willie agreed. "But it needed a better camping site."
"The Brownwood lease," Woodrow said. "I've never seen so many turkeys in my life. Remember, Rev, you and I were napping in the trailer one afternoon when an old tom turkey walked up to the open front door and stuck his head in."
"That's right. Then he gobbled, and it scared me so bad I launched myself off the couch and nearly broke my leg when I tried to run."
"What happened?" the Cap'n asked.
"I tried to run out the door, because I'd been sleeping so sound that I was disoriented. But this moron was asleep in the recliner with the footrest in the way, and I tripped over it, flew headfirst out the door and nearly landed on the turkey. He whacked me a couple of times with those big old wings of his and then got away."
"That old turkey whipped the stuffing out of you," Woodrow laughed.
"I'm not the only one holding that distinction," I said. "Wrong Willie got whipped once by a turkey he'd shot."
Knowing the story, we all laughed remembering Willie desperately holding the thrashing, 20-pound turkey by the legs."
Willie grinned. "Whupped me good."
"Bacon's done," I shouted. "Eggs are scrambling. Everyone get ready. It won't take a minute."
"That's it!" Doreen shouted, standing between my truck and Willie's. "I can't stand this anymore!"
We stopped and stared. "What's wrong with you?" Doc asked.
"You guys can't keep setting up camp here in my parking lot," she yelled. "Look! People are parking all around you. This is my business and that's my tree. Find somewhere else!"
"But Doreen," Willie whined. "We don't have anywhere else to go."
She reached into her apron pocket, pulled out a checkbook and began scribbling. "Here. Take this check. Go get one of those leases you guys circled in the newspaper last Sunday."
She handed me the check. "This isn't very much," I said.
"Consider it a down payment."
"The leases we were looking at cost a lot more."
She stifled a scream. "How about that 400-acre spot y'all were talking about?"
"That won't be a very big lease," Doc said.
"It'll be a start!!!" she screeched. "Just don't camp in my parking lot anymore!"
Woodrow took the check and stuck it in his shirt pocket as Doreen stomped back to the cafe. "Well, I guess we can start with a little bitty 400 acres."
"That's right," Doc said. "Let's break camp. Tomorrow, we set up over at Dale's hardware store. He'll be good for a few bucks. Don't forget guys, give me a list, and we'll move around for a while. We're gonna get that new lease yet."
• Reavis Wortham's e-mail address is r.wortham@tx.rr.com.
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