WORTHAM: Knot much you can do when tied up by the one cooking
"What do you call that one?" I asked Wrong Willie who was sitting beside me in the large round corner booth at Doreen's 24 HR Eat Gas Now Café.
He held up what looked like a bird's nest tied in a stiff piece of leader. "I call it a Willie Knot."
"Did you intend for it to look like that?" Doc asked.
"It's not really a pretty knot," I said.
We examined the knot that was somewhat bulky and loose. "Well, it would look better if I tightened it down some in the water."
"Let me see that," Jerry Wayne said, reaching for the tangle of line.
"Don't' touch it," Willie said, jerking back.
"What are y'all doing over there?" Doreen shouted from behind the counter.
"Nothing," we answered like a bunch of 10-year-olds.
"Well, y'all better not be doing anything," Doreen answered, rather listlessly.
"She's losing her steam," Doc said.
"We're just wearing her down," I said. "Here guys, try this one."
I took a piece of leader, made a loop, then another one and pulled the tag end through the second loop five times before drawing it tight. "This is called a Duncan Loop, and you should all know how to use it when we get to Colorado."
"What's it for?" Jerry Wayne asked.
"It's kind of a slip knot for flies," I said. "This will hold better than those knots you use."
Jerry Wayne frowned. "I always use a clinch knot."
"Your fly won't float properly," I said.
"How do you know?"
"Because that's the knot I used last year, and the guy said my fly looked funny in the water."
"It looked funny, like clowns?" Wrong Willie asked.
"Not that kind of funny. It just didn't float properly."
"You should have put fly dressing on your fly," Doc surmised.
"I did, but the knot was wrong."
"What's fly dressing?" Jerry Wayne asked.
"Silicone to make the fly float better."
"Do I need that for my Power Bait?"
"No," Doc said. "You just need a license."
"Look," I said, trying to get the conversation back on a proper track. "The clinch knot is all right for nymphs, but even there you should use the improved clinch knot. But I don't think we'll be using nymphs when we get there. We'll be using dry flies."
"And you're gonna put silicone on these dry flies, so they won't truly be dry, right?" Jerry Wayne asked.
We stared at our friend for a long while before launching back into the knot conversation.
"As long as you want to tie knots for nymphs, try this one," I said, quickly whipping the line into shape. "This is called an improved turtle knot."
"What's better about it?" Jerry Wayne asked.
"Huh?"
"You said it was improved. Why is that one better than the regular turtle knot?"
"I don't know. I've never tied a turtle knot."
"Then why was it improved?"
"I ... don't ... know," I answered.
Doreen drifted over with a fresh pot of coffee. We held up our mugs to get refills. When she finished pouring, she put down the pot. "You guys want me to show you a good trick knot my daddy taught me when I was a kid?"
"Sure," Doc said. I handed her a length of leader.
"Stick out your finger," she said. I held out a forefinger and she quickly fashioned a loop around it. "Now watch this, Doc, hold out your other index finger."
He did, and she tied a mysterious looking loop that quickly pulled them together. "Now, here's the fun part," she said. "Willie, you and Jerry Wayne do the same with your index fingers."
They complied. "Rev, let me see your other finger," she said. I held up my remaining free index finger and she quickly whipped a loop around it and finished it off by somehow attaching it to my originally knotted finger.
"Now, guys, everyone pull at the same time."
We did, and the formerly snug loops quickly pulled tight, effectively finger-cuffing our hands together. Then when any one of us pulled again, the line tightened further.
"Hey, get us out of this," I said. "It's beginning to hurt."
"Not until each of you promises to order the most expensive thing on the menu right now and give me a great tip and then promise not to come in tomorrow."
She had us and we knew it. "All right!" Doc shouted. "We can't move. Enough. Get us loose."
When she gave a quick pull of a tiny loop around my original finger, the entire knot system fell away as if by magic.
"What was that?" I asked, rubbing some feeling back into my digits.
"A running granny," she said and went back to start our expensive lunch.
"Does that one work on power bait?" Jerry Wayne called.
"Shut up," we said and dug in our pockets to see if we had enough money for lunch.
Reavis Wortham's e-mail address is reaviswortham@att.net.
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